Harry Potter: and...... what the hell just happened?

All right, back in the saddle..... well not literally the saddle, but rat6her returning to something that is greatly enjoyed and familiar to me and my (1-1/2) viewers; bashing new, and popular movies (games, books.... you know the drill{etc}).

So now the much delayed review of Harry Potter: and the Half-Blood Prince.

First of all for all It is safe to say, nothing happened they spent the entire time getting shitfaced and "slogging" or the hogwarts-ism for making-out. Yes in this "grand masterwork" the only significant event was the death of Dumbledore, Before you cry "spoiler" remember that the death of this "mighty" wizard has been on the airwaves for months, c'mon with the release of the book (well the most recent one) the buzz was about Dumbledore dying. Though you may taught the other "twist" of the story as significant: the turning of Snape to the 'dark-side' was pretty much a foregone conclusion, if you seriously believed after reading any of the books or seeing movies that Rowling was creative enough to use a twist like "Snape is actually the good guy" you probably should line up for your free Scientology screening.

"it's called Scientology and it's more frightening than
all the shit we deal with, combined!!"

So after the previews roll we are whisked away to Hogwarts (well an English train station.... close enough) where we find harry transformed into some magical pimp that can bone any 'muggle' girl he chooses, well not really but it does make a better exposition don't you think. So harry is his same old (loser) self (in a train station) and is yet again recruited by Dumbledore who has somehow in the course of a year learned to use magic as well as gaining a sense of morose humor (or was that me). any way the story is something like this...

Harry is
in a restaurant
in a house
talking to a chair
with the Weasly's
running through the Weasly's burning estate estate
getting his ass kicked
getting shitfaced
at Hogwarts
talking to Dumbledore
brewing potions with a cheat sheet
talking to Dumbledore
getting shitfaced
"slogging"
Dramatic speech
(repeat the last four steps for an hour)
running for his life
watching Dumbledore die
getting his ass kicked
Dramatic speech

a scene in which three of the four primary
'story' elements come into play

So as you can hazard The story is lacking, "but there must be something to qualify this as a worthy movie,"-you say. The music is as always top notch, the effects were good, but far to artificial: replacing the actors in most cases as a stunt prop would replace the hero prop, all the while landing in the "uncanny valley". The action was...... lukewarm, though most of the "action" was Harry's crew getting some, the rest are thrills of the cheap, shit your pants, ghoul-out-of-a-cupboard variety. So when asked If the movie should bee seen, I'd say yes; if only to keep up with pop culture, for it's greatest flaw is relying on the Name and Rowling's poor story too cull the herd and drain their colective pocket.

Now Available in (less funny) Facebook-avision

Well it was bound to happen sooner or later, I'm on facebook. for those that know me I know what you are thinking, Mason joining something with the word "social" in the description and without an "anti-" before: 'let me look out the door to see that the sky is not falling as well'.

But despite my private and not-so private bashings of the entire social networking scene, the main thing it offers is a quick, easy, and best of all passive means of communication with those friends of mine that are forced to live far away from my divine radiance(ha, ha! sarcasm!) ; which is something that I will require if I should decide to take over the world (just keeping my options open). So now begins my (probably brief) foray into (anti)social networking.

If you want to join "dangerous" new "cult" go to my 'Facebook' page, in the mean time the worship is at 12' (lulz, i guess)

your one true god
(assailed by iguanas)

The Legend of the Seeker: I Think my Neurons are Burning

First of all I would like to point out to the few (if any) of the people who have read Goodkind's early books and legitimately enjoyed the Scifi mini-series 'the legend of the seeker'; that I could not even finish the first episode, there, you got it, I'm F*ck*ng unprofessional. Now with that out of the way; the 'first impressions' review.

So this is more bitching than an actual cool headed review; now the seeker is only in the loosest of terms the same as the book, sure it bears the trappings of the universe, (names and such), but only to the extent that queen Elizabeth bears the trappings in common with William the Conqueror. The basest of elements are there, the sword of truth, the main characters, the three lands, and the three boxes of Orden; but despite this of itself speaks more of overconfident screenwriting (*after all they wrote 'Xena'* heavy sarcasm, ha ha) than actual artistic ability. But of course to defend their pathetic foray into writing this, they claimed: according to the 'ancient, infallible' scrolls of Wikipedia they were trying to "honor the books without literally translating them", and in showing their "honor" they have indelibly fouled up the story of the Wizard's First Rule. Now to the second Failure of the series, the actors, admittedly not all of this is their fault, but rather the fault of poor casting director, who apparently had never even thought to mach the characters with their descriptions. Overall the cast (so far) have been very poor actors, their performances ranking equally with the worst of fantasy role players. Over all I had to force my self from seppuku with the knife I keep at my desk, to end the infernal horror of the series.

Even worse for the dignity (lol) the series; 'Krog Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire' a Comedy Central series of which I am now wholly that was designed to parody the 'seeker'; is superior to it in every way, the acting is good (much better), costuming significantly better, the story didn't make me wasn't to burst into flames as a preferable alternative.

Seeker <>

The 'seeker' is perhaps the greatest paragon of film based upon a book....

THE.

BOOK.

WAS.

BETTER!
(much better)

Update: What a Couple of Weeks

Ah so as you can guess from my title I have decided it more efficient just to do a generic update rather that to post individual thing I have been buzzing about; after all I am just one busy (very lazy) frood. So without further ado the stuff

- On new ground the other week I found this interesting flash game that is at the same time brilliantly executed, unbelievably cute, and vomit inducing (quite literally), it is called Spewer, as the subtitle says: "a game about puking", I admit it is not much more than that though it ma help to say that it is a platformer with great (if slightly wonky) physics , in which you primary puzzle solving tool is projectile vomiting (just like elementary school) to your target. But be warned this game is very tough, and those who do not want to be frustrated by repeated gruesome (if undeniably cute) deaths of your puking worm-thing.

- Last weekend the adventures of my band of chaotic treasure-looting mercenaries continued, the first "real" dungeon of my campaign was completed and the next is up coming. The mantle of divine spell caster was taken up by a new player: Bridger, another veteran of d&d and a druid. Yet again the party proves the old constants of being perfectly unpredictable, trying their best to temp death, and taking the violent solution above all others. There was also the bit of starting up a hither to unknown to me "zombie campaign" to pass the time at five in the morning when we were all to inebriated (mostly due to caffeine, late night, and propane fumes) to continue within a narrative structure of a traditional campaign.

Yeah, something like that

- last week I also found a relatively new roleplaying system, pathfinder, currently in an early stage a good portion of the manual can be downloaded on their site: paizo.com (Pathfinder RPG). I would basically refer to It as AD&D v3.75, for it is clearly a direct decedent of the game (certainly more so than fourth edition), I personally chose not to use it because it is basically interchangeable so therefore would be more difficult to convert (you know, people not remembering what they are playing), and may of the "significant" changes I had already included in my home-brew update/setting which I use for my campaign (though it is still mostly D&D), though one thing that may make little difference to those dedicated Role-players is the overly stylized (gamer english for: can't draw) Anime-ish art style

- I have just finished the fist cycle of the Elric novels by M. Moorcock , they are good, origional in the description and function of the planar multi-verse if a bit to existentialistic at some points for my general enjoyment of continued existence. the story kind of "pulpy" (as in the 50's-70's episodic type writing) Elric's adventures consist of moping, gaining hope, going fantastic places, meeting interesting characters, then after the struggle being driven to kill then by his psychotic-soul-sucking sapient rune-sword: Stormbringer, to relate this to you purely vidogaming types; Aurthas' (you know warcraft) blade Frostmorne took it's name and powers from the twin blade of Elric's; Mourneblade, in fact much of Aurthas (early on) was based upon Elric.

The Dead have RISEN!.... A second time!

well as a posted previously I was "intrigued" by the screen-shots and teaser for the next dead rising game, but with the recently circulated trailer I am left with one thought; "dual wielded chainsaws, f*ck yeah!!", anyway here is the link , "y'all come back now, y'hear".

this blog is interrupted for a commercial break

Did you know, that the dead love iMerchandise as much as they hate the living...

Agh!! Indie zombies *grabs shotgun*, *blam, blam, blam*, now that we have that problem solved: my arrogant opinion. From the video you can surmise that the slightly campy humor from the first game will remain intact for this release rather than going the way of the analogue TV recept0r and the power glove. Also the new hero, Chuck Greene apparently has a daughter, which I suppose would give him a better reason to stick around than unlikeable action-photographer Frank West, also our new hero shows ingenuity of the same school of Bruce Campbell

Shown: Ingenuity of the highest order

The combat (from the trailer at least) appears to have been fine tuned and polished a bit, and from the articles attached I can imply that the Aiming which was the equivalent of a mentally retarded blind pacifist trying to get a head shot on the pope from a mile away, was improved. If they fix the flaws of the last game this could shape up to be one of those games that stays near my xbox for years upon years to come. But being a Japanese designed game they are liable just make a near exact copy of the previous game with little to no problem fixes.

DnD party tonight! Wut?!

Well were am I(the internet I guess but that's not important right now), for the first time in my years of DM-ing Dungeons and Dragons I have managed to keep a campaign together for more than three sessions. So in an characteristically show of optimism I am promising a play by play of my campaign to whoever is interested (most likely only the 1-1/2 constant reader(s) of this blog).

As you could have concluded from my previous post "WTF! Fourth Edition" I run a V3.5 campaign, this campaign is set in my own world, one which nerfs the gnome, makes arcane spell wielders less common and more powerful, and puts less emphases on the adventures being mighty heroes and more on them being mercs. This campaign began with the now (in)famous (within my sphere of influence) "stone(ed) goblin dungeon", which was the originally the basic "merchant needs stolen goods returned" kind of mission. Then I wanted to make a properly sized goblin warren, so the leap of logic was to make the merchants "special goods" a powerful sedative drug "swamp weed" which would make the majority of those goblins unable to fight. what I didn't count on was they would cut through about twenty stoned goblins (bloody Coupdegras) before they realized that there was no need, this lead to an botch so epic that it is still talked of the Fighter Richard (known jokingly as "dicky") tried to change up the stab-fest by strangling himself a goblin, which he botched, (like a critical I roll twice for botches) roll again double botch , at this point he is being strangled by a stoned goblin, if it wasn't for the rouge Sydne ("Ninnie") with a quick dagger to the spine, the unluckiest warrior would've been the deadest.

I eventually decided to continue the campaign from there, collected a group (well, 3 constant members), and began spinning the tail of the "Witchlord saga". Currently these are the constants "Dicky" is the fighter, Sydne the rouge, and Cooper, an veteran of d&d is the wizard, the cleric is whoever else happens to show up. The first official dungeon was yet again fairly basic but the adventure led to several counts of the players being chaotic evil bastards. The next promises to be awesome, both in structure and in the short story arc it starts off (hopefully).

Horde Clubs Seals: Peta Whines

So apparently Peta has finally jumped off the deep end. The group is apparently holding a protest against the clubbing of digital seals in WoW. Now, those who have read my blog before know my opinions of the Peta-people, so disregard all of what I have said previously: they are no longer naive hippies with to much time on their hands, but rather just incredibly stupid. First of all do they realize that the seals clubbed in a video game are not real, secondly if they do they are just squelching a good bit of online fun to express their idealistic angst upon the rest of the world. If the seal clubbers are even a real group and not just a Peta rabble rousing facade (though that seems too elaborate for them) they have every right to club their virtual seals without being bothered by college-dropouts/eco-terrorists who like only like cute fluffy things way too much.

Shown: liking fluffy things way to much

The Peta-people also put together a quaint youtube video to prove their own idio... I mean protest the seal clubbing guild, the Sons of Canada. But why I ask did they give those undead the voices of inbred back country Arkansas folk, well I don' know (gasp! a first), but you can see the video here here. (disclaimer: this video is so incredibly stupid that half your brain may in fact rot over the fifty-five seconds this video runs) though this event of pure human stupidity is no were near as entertaining as their holiday anti-turkey eating bit, it still leaves me full of Shadenfreude over how Peta will be bashed for this.

and now to piss of any and all Peta-people who glance at this

Ah what a weight off of my shoulder

After completing the previous marathon write I've decided to list all of the games that I am salivating over now, possibly continuing this cycle that is Spar.... madness.

-Dragon Age: Origins- adds something that I have always wanted to see in a game but has never come to be, following the unique origins of your character, and in a dark high fantasy setting to boot. but it is made by Bioware so you basically know the basic plot/archetypes/ending before even picking it up

-Diablo 3- killing demons, do I need to say more. but unfortunately it is being overly balanced towards the online aspect (damn you Blizzard)

-Starcraft 2- blizzard classic will hopefully make a comeback; hopefully it does.

-Dead Rising 2- I loved the original, but they still have a lot of flaws to correct.

-Ghost Busters- C'mon this cynical ass needs humor (and not just gore) too, besides It looks great, hopefully it captures the spirit (pun defiantly intended) of the Movies.

-Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard- a game that has not been mentioned so far on my blog; a parody of video games for the last 20 years, again I hope it has the skills to back up the funny.

-Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena- The sequel to a game I've never played, which received critical acclaim, set in a universe that I like, that look great. I just hope it is not like the Chronicles of Riddick movie(which sucked).

fallout 3 reveiw: finally

So what has this grizzled misanthrope been doing instead of reviewing fallout 3, well try playing the game, yes it is that good, so it seems my "crack addict-esque" behavior has proved well worth it, possibly not all that well founded but certainly an enjoyable period of my life. now for my review of my time in the radiation three and a half months in the making.

I know it is not my picture

Fallout is A post nuclear Armageddon adventure to put it bluntly (if you have seen a screen-shot you could have extrapolated this though). fallout's setting centers on retro-futurism, basically the fifty's technology filled optimistic view of the future that ended in a storm of nuclear fire (think nuked tomorrow-land), you combine this with a visual style more than reminiscent of mad max down to the leather jacket jacket, sawn-off, and psycho-mutt(who has a tendency to open doors 0_0, which led to many "interesting" events). However the setting of the third installment loses some of it's credibility just because of the time it take place. It's 2277 200 years after the bombs fell, and the DC inhabitants are still living in a more technology filled but less settled life than those on the west coast over one hundred years ago. This kind of life style can only happen during the Mad Max era of the apocalypse (i.e. one, to three generations after the nukes), so either the Capital Wastelanders are complete idiots with access to unlimited tech or the time period was just not all that thought out.

The intro from the "war never changes" sucks you right in, more that any other I've ever played. The tutorial is by far the best Bethesda has ever birthed in terms of immersion and enjoyability. The creation of your avatar and your subsequent vacation as the pilot of your new automaton begins with with your birth upon which you are charged with coming up with your name gender and future appearance (quite a load for a still bloody infant)then five seconds or thirty minutes later(depending on how long you spent rattling at your avatars knobs) your mom dies, I'm not sure what this was supposed to accomplish other than to give you no good reason to stick around the vault after every one tries to murder you. then your little flash back moves on to your days as the amazing sprinting baby (after all running indefinitely is the default setting in any video game) in which you escape your internment in the dreaded play pen teach yourself how to read, and choose your future stats basically all boiling down to a thug, sniper, scientist/doc, a silver tongued rouge, or a complete f*ck*ng psych but most will have one thing in common a sharp wit to gain the most skill points and a charisma slightly less than that of a sack of "tetanusy" nails (less so for the rouge character). after which your father James(Liam Neeson) feebly tries to sway you from the dark side with his framed bible verse stitched doily

Liam Neeson - and your father James

then your are swept down the hall to you arbitrary rpg friend Amata, who when grown looks a fair bit like Alex from Half-Life 2; probably yet another attempt to reach geek-dom

Similar?

And so your flash back/tutorial touches upon several other events in your avatar's life, the first weapon, your tenth birthday, and your job assignment test. This series of events and tutorials make you invest emotionally into your avatar, which helps dispel some of the disbelief tied to the setting.

As an adult you are woken up by your childhood friend and are told that the shit has officially hit the fan; your father has ditched you, your family friend has been whacked, and the overseer wants your head on a pike for no particular reason other than than hating your guts. you are immediately given the chance to properly role play, but as with most games the decisions are split between four annoying flavors, ignorant asshole, understanding pussy, subservient noob, or beige neutrality I hating this usually play a combination of assholery and neutrality. Then you work your way out of the vault along the way slaughtering 0 to 20 percent of the vaults population (according to fallout cannon) with and additional 5 or so dying indirectly as a result of your father's eviction, and at the upper reaches it's pretty much genocide people. Then as you leave you either get sappy farewell or a good riddance from Amata depending on your choices in roleplaying.

you emerge squinting into the sunlight much the same way you did in oblivion, and you will be thinking the same thing; "aint it pretty" though not for the same reasons you did during Oblivion.

Now unlike real life you won't break down and start crying about loosing you comfortable little life (if you do I have lost all respect for you), no you will probably do one of two things; like me "were do I start looting", or "let's see were this quest takes me", after working your way through the suspiciously well stocked ruins of Springvale most of most of "ye" will go off to Megaton, a town built of scrap Ala Mad Max, with a live nuke worshiped by a fairly "benign" cult. In this town you have the opportunity to continue the main quest, the first half of the main quest allow for more freedom than any player of Bethesda has known within a quest, though it is a level on par with the original fallout's many ways to complete a quest, each leading you down a completely different path to slightly varying endings. For example in the first quest you need to find information, the saloon owner has the information, so to get it you can sweet talk him, pay him for it, kill him and steal it from his terminal, just hack his terminal, just continue wondering the wasteland looking, or even intimidating his hirelings. however the later quests are very linear, more along the lines of oblivion's main quest that traditional fallout, with only a few endings to the later quests. admittedly this heavy scripting for the quests creates a more cinematic telling of the story than previous Bethesda works, many of these felt more like the cinematic events in the most recent Call of Duty games than an RPG. Another fault of Fallout 3 main story is the severe lack of endings, there are only twelve, on the surface this sounds like a signifigant amount (more than Bioware ever had) but think 3 alignments multiplied by 2 sets of choices with 2 outcomes, which is not alot. The Endings do not have that quality of legendary storytelling both of the original fallout's and the intro and outro the Road warrior had.

I am "not" legend

But of course This third installment is not just about the main story, there are innumerable side quests and interesting places to explore. Fallout had what I liked about many of the dungeons in previous elder scrolls, little implied stories in the form of notes, decorations, items, and enemies fighting. Fallout had more varied locations than any previous elder scrolls games, and more of these implied stories. One of the more interesting areas in the wasteland is the Lovecraft themed Dunwich (horror) building area. The quests of fallout 3 are very interesting, bordering on the schizophrenic; many of the official recorded side quests barely fit in with fallout cannon let alone reality (crazy vampires, a happy go lucky wasteland survival guide, and Harold the tree headed ghoul).

Now to what attracts many of the "consoleers"; game play. Fallout 3's interface is by far superior to that of any other previous Bethesda or fallout game: in terms of fluidity, ease of use, and general freedom. though with the advent of firearms in combat the idiotic masses immediately compare it to contemporary first and third person shooters, whilst the games interface goes far a shooter it "ain't", but the again it never was designed to be; it is still first and foremost an rpg, and a fine one at that, but it will never live up to the "balls and bayonets" action of shooters. What is a reveiw of fallout 3 without a rundown it's post child, no not Vault-Boy

V.A.T.S.!

VATS, or Vault-tec assisted targeting system is Bethesda's answer to fanboys' (who were still getting stiffies over Van Beuren) whining about the turn-based and aiming of Fallout not being ported to now, ten years in the future. First of all I have to say as a skeptic of VATS, that it was a brilliant addition, my fear was that it would hamper my immersion, but far from it, rather it helped me get behind my character, and besides seeing a raider fly to peices in bullet time never gets old. I often cued up VATS in close combat were my reflexes lacked and asked that raider bastard " did I fire five shots or six, well do you feel lucky, huh do you, punk"

Hah! to bad, this guns got a twelve round clip! Blam!

Though the down side to vats was in fact that I had the time to say the exact quote (and probably make a sandwich) between the time I cued up VATS and when I got control over my avatar's mind again.

Fallout 3 is a sufferer the disease of Bethesda's nay all of the game industry, games are getting much shorter. For example Bethesda's previous works, morrowind when played at the standard leisurely rate (SLI?) of game playing could clock in at over 500 hours, Oblivion: just over one hundred, and Fallout is even shorter, admittedly this extra space has been filled with better graphics, "more" depth, etc but it still is less content, and in many cases less good content, but not so for Fallout 3.

I loved Fallout, It's combination of Mad Max wasteland and tomorrow-lands flair led me to fall in love with the original, of course it has been several years (I last owned it in the early 21st century)since I played and It was played little, most of my love comes from third person and and first person observations from playing a game made by a splinter faction of black isle (interplay), the game was Arcanum, my favorite game of all time, so it is no surprise that my views of fallout are tinted by this, though Fallout 3 is it's own experience, It compares to everything and nothing at once, if judged by it's own merits It is one of my favorite plays ever, but if measured against all of it's fore fathers it will always seem somewhat lacking when as Yahtzee put it is compared to something viewed through "the rose tinted goggles of retrospect". But none the less fallout 3 is still one of the top 25 games of all time.

What all the Elder Scrolls true success are though is unlimited game play through the modding tool made for the game. So truly no matter how good of flawed the game, you have whatever you want at your finger tips, a veritable Holodeck of user-created content. My game alone has 20 or so mod on it, some that make the wasteland hate me (more realistic), some that rebalance the game a few to add weapons from the preivious games, and the list goes on to infinity.

see you later, vault dweller...

Dead Rising 2, Woot!

For those of you who have not played the original dead rising, you do not know what you missed. Dead rising was not so much a survival horror as you would expect it was much more like a mutant hybrid of grand theft auto, dynasty warriors, and Shaun of the dead. Admittedly in the game you found yourself repeating the game over and over again just to level up enough to go the distance, the shooting mechanics for a lack of a better term; sucked ass, the bosses were ludicrously powerful compared to your photo journalist/zombie "re-deadifyer"/cross dresser (the crappy shooting doesn't help this either), and slaying thousands of zombies however fun gets old when there is a total of three "re-deadifyings" every five seconds for several hours. But despite all of this; the game is ultimately fun, and truly unique, I mean what other game allows you to pummel zombies to death with a gumball machine.

The sequel to this "classic" was announced recently, apparently the outbreak of the last game was not contained and began leeching out from it's home in the small town (with a Beverly Hills sized mall) of Willamette and has spread to the generic Los Vegas look alike that the sequel shaping up to be set in. the graphics appear to have gotten a significant over hall from the initial 360 launch timed original (after all that was a "staggering" four years ago)

original left, new right

our new hero looks more a former member of the Hitler youth that a grizzled combat photograph which in retrospect will probably make for a much more likable character. it's also plain to see that the new zombie hunter shops for cloths in the same place as the Bride from Kill Bill.

Capcom (the developer) says they are going to try to appeal more towards the western audience with this installment, which is odd considering that if I had not known the developer I could have sworn that the game was made right here in the good ol' USA. Well I suppose the game is in a stereotypical American town with stereotypical crazy and or stupid Americans with handguns in excess coming out of every trash can and zombie's pocket. But anyway the game looks good, and you can find the trailer; Here

and one more thing:

GIANT HAMSTER BALLS!

Another Day, Another Crime

well isn't a fascinating time for crime that have me laughing my ass off; So apparently in Colorado A man held up two Seven-Elevens with a bat'leth the traditional Klingon sword of honor(so a honorable sword for a dishonorable man). to make It even more hilarious it was one of the dinky short made in China knock offs commonly sold on ebay, and the police were "not even sure if it was metal".

a bat'leth

our wanna-be Klingon brandishing his fisher price-esque bat'leth

Upon arriving home today my father jokingly asked me if I had been to Colorado today to which I replied no and was relayed the story. but the bottom line of this is that the moron may have been funny, but he did tarnish the Klingon honor and for that should be hunted down by all of the bat'leth wielding trekkies out there and hacked to bits (or maybe just humiliated in a tournament).

Oh No! Zombies!

A construction sign on a highway in Austin Texas read caution: zombies ahead then urged the passersby to seek colder climates. A government warning of for the zombie apocalypse it wasn't; but of course since it wasn't they "logically" assumed that it was hacked as part of a a viral marketing campaign for Capcom's Resident Evil 5. Um "okeeeey" Why would any company preform an act of vandalism to get some notoriety for a game in development that already has a number of people who want it scrapped, but any way Capcom has already denied their involvement after all what company would be stupid enough to commit any crime even a misdemeanor to drum up business, and besides I am more liable to beleive them than the Idiots on the net.

Now we think It is for a lack of a better phrase "absolutely freaking Hilarious" but the police don't, after all the the person in question did break the lock, change the pass word of the machine which enabled this to keep cycling for days, and caused general chaos amongst those stupid enough to beleive it. So in conclusion the vandal has my applause, but don't do it again.

Oh no!

Back on track

After the havoc in the political system for the past few months and my repeated complaints on the matter I appear to be getting back to where I started; avoiding all that which is political.

Lets leave it at that...

And now for the promises I probably won't keep

a review of Fallout 3

even more posts

and my continued psychopathy spewed upon all of you "innocent" bystanders

Pie Week?

Well apparently the staff of G4's AOTS (attack of the show) Have been campaigning for a national pie week; admittedly the Idea is to put it bluntly is Completely insane. The Insanity from olivia Munn diving into giant vat of pudding (which they had the audacity to call a pie) In a french maid outfit if x amount of pie lovers (or the interweb's perverts) signed the pie week petition, and sign they did.

Olivia Munn Dives Into Gigantic Pie!

Though despite this I commend them for their attempt to bring the quintessential American dish to the forefront, but as usual despite all good that comes from the veneration of pie I am bound by my code to complain; And I've got nothing.

the cake may be but the pie is no lie

Creepy

So.... after poking around the site in which I found the previous quiz, and I found the "The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test". why I say it is creepy is because it nearly perfectly described me

Outcast Genius

Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occasion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject).

Outcast geniuses can be very lonely (though I am not) , due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius.

Post Apocalyptic Survival test

As you may or may not know it is a hobby of mine to plan for worst case scenarios; namely the apocalypse. this comes from my tendency to weaponize everything I come into contact with. so on a whim I typed in post apocalyptic survival test in my Google search bar and got this: The Post-Apocalyptic Survival Test .

Here's what I got

The Cannabal
You scored 57 Strength, 80 Guile, 31 Morality, and 89 Survival Rate (out of 100%)

Well here you are. Alive and kickin'. Wait.. was that you kickin' or did that come from your stomache? Nevermind. What's important is that you made it... right? All those other survivors are just cattle. Congratulations and welcome to the REAL top of the food chain.

Basically I am an Amoral, intelligent, survivor but I could have told you without the test

Super mario puppet show

the name says everything about it except that is flipping hilarious

Super Mario Bros.' Live Action Puppet Show

Blizzard, why are you trying to make me hate you

Ah, My most anticipated games of 2009 StarCraft II, and Diablo III; unfortunately blizzard keeps on skipping about like some acid filled procrastinator suffering from "ADD" (a fake disease I know), as you know from previous post I am caught in their "web of deviousness" in which the slowly every month or so they release tiny tidbits of information on their two big titles to cause addiction even prior to launch. This is probably because if they actually showed the games they would immediately lose all interest, because frankly: they are doing horrible things to these great series;

the web of deviousness

Well most notably Diablo. Some information has come to my attention recently (last month), first and received with the most rage is the fact that Starcraft's single player campaign will be released in three parts; now the campaign was the best part of Starcraft in my opinion, it would be raciest and incorrect to say only Koreans like the multilayer version of Starcraft, but let's run with that. With this announcement and blizzard touting their new game's game play and multi-player rather than the story this implies that blizzard is making an eventual shift to total online play(so it's not just milking us for money people), which for a misanthrope such as myself this is not good. Admittedly this is a good choice for blizzard economically, as they have traditionally built popularity through Battlenet; but I have never liked playing with anyone who I would not invite into my home or onto my LAN.

Just like Starcraft, Diablo is being effected by blizzard wild swing towards total online supremacy. now from my interpretation Diablo seems to be still geared as a single player game, but they are still trying to recreate the battlenet sensation that was Diablo II, personally I was still more fond of the single player experience of Diablo 2 but the online play was adequate, primarily because It was basically the same game with very few changes and with the "story" intact, diablo primaraly suceeded because unlike starcraft it did not depend on it's story as a motivator, admittedly the Diablo mythos is very interesting, but it does not attract you to the game. Yet again though I still have to say that I prefer LAN with a select few people. But other than this I have a few complaints about announced gameplay features (as always); first of all the giant glowing health orbs, where in all the diablo story, or any sword and sorcery do you get the Idea of giant-floating-glowing-orbs-of-magical-instant-healing, Bah! I suppose it may aleave some of the "my hand got carpal tunnel so I couldn't click the potion buttion the twenty times per second to survive this encounter moments" moments. Then there is the "you can't pick your skills" Feature of the game, you know some guy (probably with an evil mustach) was maniacly laughing his *ss off.

the blizzard employee responsible

oh, but fear not, according to blizzard you can now modify the abilities the game hands you; C'mon you know thats a half *ss*d excuse for such a stupid (or nefarious, you pick) plan, what in exchange for our freedom you give us the oportunity to change our spells radius. oh and then there are other misculanious things ment purely for the online portion of the game.

S in short you can see that I am getting fed up with blizzard and it's new actions, all I can say is: I hope it's not to bad (of course I'm saying the same thing about Obama).

Raid Gaza

HA! ha! ha! ha!

Another piece of propaganda that accomplishes the exact opposite of what it was intended, it is called "Raid Gaza!"(1 guess what you do), The message is that of a winy College Obama supporter, but on the other hand... It is really fun fun to blow up Gaza (yes I know how sick that sounds). Overall this game is best if you just disregard all of the winy crap, and if you do it is awesome.

I got a kill rating of 451 Palestinians for every 1 Israeli "are you the messiah".

First Post of the New Year

Ah, a new year; I didn't want t0o seem frivolous in just posting because of the new year so you all get treated to a list of things to look forward to (or fear) in the world and on this blog.

In the world

-The new socialist leader of our country taking the office of president
-The release of blizzards big titles Starcraft 2 and Diablo 3
-The end of 2008

On my blog

- my reveiws of Fallout 3, Mass Effect, portal, and whatever else I happen to get
- (I know I promise this every time but) more posts, more often

Wow; 2009 doesn't have much going for it so to keep your minds off the coming year hear is a neatly placed distraction

a distraction