The story of the game goes something like this: you (a nameless-faceless-dork whose only distinguishing trait is a couple of chain tattoos on his wrists, or maybe he is just a pair of disembodied arms, who cares) survive a plane crash somewhere in the north Atlantic, you swim through the wreckage to a, well I really don't know what it is, maybe it's a light house, any way you swim to it and climb up a stair case through the door only to be greeted by darkness then the lights come on, only intensifying the already creepy atmosphere, you, being the idiot that you are; go wandering around the place until find a Submersible, again the idiot that is you climbs inside and pulls a lever labeled controls the pod descents into the murky but remarkably shallow depths of Rapture, figuratively and literally.
First off, all that is bad with Bioshock, the scary atmosphere that you would think would last the entirety of the game ends roughly about the time you find your first vending machine screaming "welcome to the circus of value!" (roughly twenty minutes in) of course those severe cases of cloulrophobia (fear of clowns) or white-coat hypertension would disagree with this statement for the vending machine is right next to the medical pavilion. Second The game is to Friggin' easy; roughly from the time when you obtain you first plasmid, a gene altering substance that gives you powers like shocking people , hence the "Bio" and "Shock", later in the game you can kill just about anything with your godlike powers, there is also to many "vit-a-chambers" (revival stations) I personally never died but if I some how get myself up with 10 grenades (thats what it takes) or just stood their and let a Big Daddy pound me for half an hour I wouldn't lose more than ten minutes(minus the time it takes to die) of progress, and the shear power of you plasmids and the lack of splicers having mastery of them just makes them all fodder. third is the game's obsession of doing strange things to little girls, it's a wonder that splicers and the "nameless-faceless-dork" have not atracted dateline 20/20's attention, or maybe the Big Daddies are all Chris Hanson clones:
But enough complaining here is what makes the game worth buying, even playing on an old 24 inch tv the game is beautiful, despite the blatant lack of scariness it maintained a creepy atmosphere throughout the game, It has a calculable chance of diving you insane (temporarily, happened to me), above all the game is original and fun, FUN!
Over all 52 pickles; the game and I, are insane and I don't feel like using up one f-ing hour of my life just so you can skip the well written review to the score.
